It ain't cheap being green!

Welcome to the pit. All we want now is Quatermass!

It is proving to be rather expensive, this "green" initiative. The cost of the tank to house the collected rainwater wasn't too bad as it came complete with a very powerful pump, and an electronic control system to monitor the tank's water level and the usage of water. In dry spells, the system will refill the tank to its minimum level from the mains when there's insufficient rainwater from the roof. All clever stuff. Trouble is, nobody tells you that to excavate the hole for the tank and all the drainage channels for each of five guttering downpipes around the house, and the deep soakway, is going to require a very expensive digger, and an army of hangers-on to lay pipes, and argue about whether the correct angle has been achieved for the pipes to ensure reasonable flow to the tank. This all adds up to molto dinaro. I reckon the payback will be many, many years, and long after I join the tank in the hole, which, incidentally, is 4.5 metres deep and 3.5 metres square. One side effect of this dam "hole" is that the majority of the spoil is a very light grey clay, all crumbly when its dry but it turns into a sticky paste as soon as it rains. We have this stuff liberally scattered around the garden now.

We've canned the idea of solar panels now too, as after research it appears that the likely payback is at least 50 years. I sort of figured that by the time I'm 115 I wouldn't really care about the price of electricity anyway.

Last weekend we entertained my family - Jenny & Stewart, Julie & Mark, Gabrielle & Crystal, Denize & Tim - and had a little topping out ceremony. Gill and Peter from 5 Brookvale joined us too, and brought the yew branch (essential in Bedfordshire folklore and which has to be fixed to the highest point of the house) together with a large plate of hot sausage rolls, and most importantly, a bottle of champagne. That made three bottles as we had already been given two bottles by Jenny! A tour of the house and site was followed by a glass or two of bubbly, and then off to the pub for Sunday lunch - very convivial it was too.

And so to the saga of our "hole". Firstly it was dug too deep, but by the time this was realised, the tank had been dropped in and about 1000 litres of water added. The solution was of course simple - call the supplier and order an extension for the neck of the tank as this would bring it to the right height. Extension piece duly arrives and was fitted - eh voila - it was now too tall! No problem, we'll just cut it in half to make it the right length. So lets analysis this brilliant solution :

• take too much out of the hole and charge me for the labour to do so.


• order an extra piece that wasn't really needed and present me with the bill.


• cut the newly ordered bit (that I am expected to pay for) in half and throw half away.


• drive the digger into one section of the (hired by me) Hares fence and leave it as a useless mangled bit of metal.


• drive the digger into the portable toilet causing a 4" split in the side, scratches across the door, all resulting in the door now failing to close.


• don't tell me about these things that I will potentially be charged for - let me find out when I visit at the weekend.

Its not been a good week for matters relating to water and waste as it has now been discovered that the estimated depth of the soil pipe laid to the site by the previous owner is not as deep as specified. This means that we cannot run the soil pipe from the house to the mains as things are because the fall is too slight. Yes, you guessed, the solution is to make us spend more by cutting out two more (higher) courses of brickwork where the soil pipe enters the house so that the correct fall can be created. The only other alternative was to jack up the whole house by 6 inches, which after careful consideration, was relegated to plan B.

On the positive side, we now have lots of insulation between the roof timbers, and the first stud partition has been built at the end of the mezzanine floor. This will give as a very useful storage space for all those things that are used once every 20 years, but which are so valuable they cannot be thrown away.

Due to the magnitude of the task of digging the "hole", Roy didn't get round to digging the service trench, but this will be started next Monday once the man from EDF has been to check out the route that the electricity supply will take. Apparently, the single trench will have the water pipe in the bottom, be covered with gravel, and then the electricity cable goes next -covered by gravel, and lastly, the gas. Given the cost of the supply of the gas and electricity we fully expect a solid gold cable/pipe, wrapped in a platinum casing, suitably engraved with the signature of Monsieur Hulot, or whoever is the CEO of EDF these days.

Monday should see Tony McGutter arrive with his aluminum sheet, magic gutter producing machine, and the installation of the rather necessary link in the water recycling chain.

Jan and I have spent this morning filling up another skip with rubbish, almost to the point where there's no more to find. I was rather amused when I was asked by one of the builders if he could bring some cardboard packaging to Brookvale to put in the skip - no problem says I, and so it duly arrived. By this morning, the aforesaid (Hoover) box was the sole occupant of the skip, whilst almost every other bit of the site, and the house, had various bits of detritus that should have been put in the skip, but there seems to be a mindset that says "drop it on the floor and leave it there". Builders - don't you just love 'em?

We're hopeful that A J Joinery will be delivering and fitting the windows soon as this will make the house secure, and watertight. We've opted to have makeshift front and utility room doors for the time being as the constant flow of tradesmen, in and out,

The Clifton achers